Community

May 6, 2019
Yesterday people came over for a shiva call so they could comfort me. I am still feeling numb. I’m still trying to make sense of my dad’s life and his death. ⠀

I am also not schooled in the steps in the dance of shiva. And they comforted me. They brought me comfort by knowing we are part of a community. And community means there are others to help me learn this dance of grief. To teach me the steps. To respect my own riffs – when the line goes forward and I go backward, bumping into people.⠀

And in some ways, it is against my nature to be part of something. My dad had a hard time being a part of a group. When he was healthier we said- take an art class dad. No – too far. He constantly complained in the nursing home that he didn’t have any friends there as if friends magically appeared at your doorstep without any effort to go outside your door. ⠀

And here is the catch – my dad was extremely engaging and if you were lucky enough to meet him, you appreciated his wealth of knowledge about art, books, Seinfeld, jazz, drugs….whatever. People liked my dad and went out of their way for him. But he was lonely because he could never see himself as part of something. ⠀

There is a joy in being unique – but a true community allows you to be yourself inside of something larger than yourself. And I am lucky enough to belong.⠀
#mikekobreproject #community #jewishmourning