They So, now everybodys pretty cool with thefact Im gay. The important thing is that youve studied incredibly hard to get to this day. He was using me as bait, hoping that Charlton would go: Oh, cute little girl. And come over,you know. Become a freelancer and work on your own terms. Andy Lassner: (06:25) Andy Lassner: (01:15) I get out of the tub and Batu hadforgotten to put the towel next to thetub. Now, she's addressing them directly about her decision to end . Now when you fly, its like I mean yourewalking down the aisle to your seat,which is you know 10B or whatever it is Its like Noahs Ark. And, its a big You can imagine howbig the bathroom is. Im bringing back some classic punchlines this week. She said she held my head. Got birds and Im runnin, yeah, bout a hundred, yeah In 2016, she received the Presidential Medal of Freedom. The show was actually called "These Friends of Mine" in its first season, but the name was changed to avoid . I heard he was coming to the party. Girl, you looks good, wont you back that ass up For DeGeneres, who built her career on playing versions of "Ellen," by appearing, as a . You know, theyll be like: I dont know if I should be in this relationship. These cookies do not store any personal information. Help me. And then I passed out. [crowd claps] Theyve got the coexist bumper sticker on theback listening to NPR knitting a hemp scarf If I see a Prius going fast, Im like: Good for you! I dont know why it is. Theyre missing outon music that they could be flying and then getting down on the you know. You know [crowd laughs] I dont know what the requirements are to get an emotional support animal but Idont think they are too tough to Its the same doctor that prescribesmedical marijuana. Do you have a donkey or a pack mule or anything? And I'm like "I'm getting a mammogram. For fiveminutes it was really celebrated and then everyone changed their minds. Call me Big Daddy when you back that ass up Trees have leaves. They didnt let her on, thank God, but Imean, not that she doesnt need it. Get a weekly digest of the weeks most important transcripts in your inbox. Ellen Degeneres: (07:31) You have no idea. Ellen DeGeneres has told viewers she is ending her long-running TV show because "I truly have felt like next season was the right time" to bring it to a close. These are good. Heres something that Ive learned that I hope I can help with. But I didnt know what I was gonna do and my life changed when I was 21 yearsold and my girlfriend at the time was killed in a car accident And I passed the accident., it had just happened. DeGeneres starred in the popular sitcom Ellen from 1994 to 1998 and has hosted her syndicated TV talk show, The Ellen DeGeneres Show, since 2003. Because the birds in the jungle have never heard Kendrick Lamar. In the end, everything will be all right. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website. Call me Big Daddy when you back that ass up Actress Lea Thompson, who is perhaps best . Ellen Degeneres: (00:53) "Very few stations wanted to buy the show, and here we are 20 years . Its And it was raining for a long time before we got there like a month before we got there and so it was really muddy and theres like stinging thistles and all kinds of brush everywhere that youve got somebody hacking away with a machete and youre trying to get through and sometimes you had to crawl this far under, were sinking in the mud like, to our knees and three hours up the mountain at some point, I was like, to me Thats Thats my Happy Birthday fist right there. Hi, everyone and welcome. Bread has been around forever. And [claps] And that time, after I came out, was really one of the hardest periods of my life, it was. I a few years ago I started ending my show by saying: Be kind to one another. And [crowd cheers] Yeah, thats what I thought. Yeah, I really do. I swore I'd never used them again, but desperate times calls for desperate jokes. Libary Really? -Yes one in the hand is worth two in the bush. Why do you call it the hand? FOX Image Collection via Getty Images. Yep, you could get that for sure. But I'm honored that you've asked me here to speak at your common cement. What time of day is good for a lesbian? So [claps] Yeah, and then I get on the air in the first season. No ones gonna watch a lesbian duringthe day.. We dont care. Im torn, I dont know how I feel. But it was the best part of my journey. You know that. Ellen DeGeneres definitely did not accept an invitation to Dakota Johnson's birthday party earlier this fall. In November 2019,. Why do you care where I get my protein? 2023. We have the song like: Oh my God, thats my song. And if were at a club and that song comes on you wanna dance but you will not dance until you hit the designated dance floor. Ellen Degeneres: (01:16) I went through sort of a bad girl phase, Iwas on Aspirin. Hoe, who is you playin wit? Gillian: And it didn't happen. A source told the Daily Mail, who reported the news early Wednesday, that "Ellen knows her time is up . I had no job, I had no car, no money. Ill tell you. [crowd laughs] [claps] Youll notice the difference in as littleas 48 hours. Okay. I just danced as a joke. Ill put mine on real quick. Again! Anyway, it turns out that its May, in case you lost track out there. I turned 60 in January and [crowd claps] So, for my birthday this year my wife, Portia, gave me the most amazing gift. OK. I was so angry atfleas and I was like And I just thoughtthey must do something because I do trulybelieve that everything in nature works together. Its like Little holes everywhere, you think: Whos gonnato see it? These are good if I have to do this. So its been 15 years since Ive donestand-up and when I decided to do thisspecial a friend of mine was at my house and I told him: Im going to do stand upagain. And he said: Really? And I said: Yeah. -Thank you.
. I journaled and I wrote poetry. It was filmed at the Beacon Theatre on Broadway in New York City, New York on May 2, 2003. Host Ellen DeGeneres continues to deliver uplifting, inspiring, and hilarious experiences to viewers. [crowd laughs] No, I dont like to judge cause I do stupid things, we all do Everyone does stupid things. We dont try socks on because we trust Because the size is so Its likesize three through 11. Ive never been back there. Like: What was my choice? Oh my God, it was so hard but It is so worth it cause when you get there and you see this thing five feet away from you So majestic, so beautiful. Alright, so you would like someone to goin with you? Youre vegan? Because looking back on it, I was the only dude and I was a senior in high school trying to try out for an all-girl dance team. They dont know who he is. Im just gonna keep shoes on, theyre not gonna see that. Then you go tosomebodys house and they have a shoes-off policy. Cause people do that to me. And where are my softball coaches at? Maybe its right for Ive gardened. Her name is Brenda [Akin-Rambo 00:07:00]. That was somebodys idea. Im the manager. [crowd laughs] Hm. DeGeneres later returned to the Nemo franchise with the 2016 sequel, Finding Dory. I have a good job. Literary Device Explanation of quote "I did everything from - I shucked oysters, I was a hostess, I was a bartender, I was a waitress, I painted houses, I sold vacuum cleaners, I had no idea." This example of a literary device is an anaphora. DeGeneres starred in the popular sitcom Ellen from 1994 to 1998 and has hosted her syndicated TV talk show, The Ellen DeGeneres Show, since 2003. -It is? Top-rated television show host and New Orleans native Ellen DeGeneres was the keynote speaker at Tulane University's 2009 Commencement. https://www.scripts.com/writer/ellen_degeneres/5244. Im gonna read. [claps] And then when youre sweaty, trying totake them off Its like Ive never taken one off. Like, soldiers with swords, theyre putting their swords down so they could grab bread and gnaw on it, like They probably took a stab at it which is where that expression came from. Ellen Degeneres: (01:39) Got your eye on any good medication you want to tell me about? I had gotten to the point where it was more important for me to feel proud of who I was and live my truth than worry about what other people thought of me. The Ellen DeGeneres Show features a recurring segment, called "Cash for Kindness," that spreads good cheer by lying to people. Thats Theres hair in it already and you just Now, its like, its grown. Thank you very much. Ellen Degeneres: (07:36) And for all of this years graduates, believe me, your best days are still ahead of you. We should be on our own path. In 2010, she was a judge on American Idol for its ninth season. Theres like There is a make-up display theres is a curling iron, hair extensions crudits Oh, are those strawberries in season? And [crowd laughs] So I was excited by celebrities. Yep, I like these, Im gonna get these. [crowd laughs] I cant see. What do you guys think, do you like them? OK. That was big of her, so yeah. I love being vegan. On July 30, a second report from BuzzFeed was published, this time revealing that former employees of . *Ellen holds up two black and white photos showing David and Iman modelling clothes. Its on your mind cause youre worried that someones gonna find out. Im gonna give you something for that. Required fields are marked *. They seemed fine, like, I dont know what it is. Can you imagine that Thomas Edison is there and the Wright brothers and Is the guy who sliced the bread here? They insist on memorizing your order. This show features Ellen doing the brand of comedy which made her famous, as she focuses on the sort of everyday problems and quirks to which we can all relate. You dont know why someones going slow. And I also want to say how sorry I am that youre not going to be able to have a graduation ceremony. And I should know. We get a junk drawer. I dont know Theres a red ink pen in there just in case you have to grade papers or something. I had to learn about it on the commercial. Extend your content reach and maximize your engagement rates. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. They stabbed at it with their sword. [crowd laughs] [claps] Where do you get your riboflavin? Its hard to be vegan. Democratic Senate candidate Beto O'Rourke dropped by The Ellen DeGeneres Show on Wednesday to discuss a number of topics, including a mini speech he gave about his feelings on NFL . Lets call it sometime mid June. Yep, the green beans. Not from graduation, it was something else. Hes a handsome boy. to me. Were always like Thats what you look like. ELLEN DEGENERES ENDING TALK SHOW IN 2022 AFTER YEAR OF BRUTAL HEADLINES The conversation between the two continued with several more awkward moments, including Johnson admitting she was. Do you know why a chicken coop only has two doors? Like, if someone cuts me off in a dangerous way if I honk, they are like: Ellen? [crowd laughs] [crowd laughs and claps] Yeah, that and the dancing. Youse a fine motherfucker, wont you back that ass up STANDS4 LLC, 2023. Here it is. The comedian muses on stoned koalas, his dads vasectomy confusion, choosing between his hair and his sex drive and more. I was also told that today is Chicken Appreciation Day. Her parents divorced when she was 16 years old. And I wantedto understand this. Its not important. I say 10B, does a plane go back thatfar? If you look up: Birds that dance to music. Youll see,there are so many of them. Squirrels live in trees. Thats good. Ellen DeGeneres: Here and Now YouTube Movies & TV Comedy 2003 Buy TV-PG Ellen - Here and Now - Go-gurt redsoxfanification 16K views 10 years ago Ellen - walks into sliding glass. No, but Ive dined in other places before. "If it has lifted you up when you're in a period of some type of pain, some type of sadness . In fact, Im downin this I had no idea I was in a cage. Ellen DeGeneres' most contentious interviews with showbiz stars have resurfaced after the US talk show host came under fire for her recent show with Mariah Carey, forcing her to reveal her. Back that ass up Ellen Degeneres: (03:42) Easily integrate Rev using our robust APIs to start building your product quickly. Ill speak with the chef and yes. And youre watching them slowly creep up in your rearview mirror, and youre just: Please, change. Your email address will not be published. In her first special since 2003, Ellen revisits her road to stardom and details the heartfelt -- and hilarious -- lessons she's learned along the way. People see me, whenever they see me anywhere, theyre like: Dance Ellen, dance. And Im like Im getting a mammogram. So I have a step ladder, but I love it just the same, I do. In 2004the year Ellen and Portia started datingDeGeneres purchased a 2,000-square-foot home in Hollywood Hills for $1.275 million. That and coal mining cause that seems hard, too. Some of the restaurants are trying to figure out how to help vegans. "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" came to an end on Thursday, wrapping a 19-season run. What is happening? Oh my God, it was just like I mean, wed be in the car, driving past the drugstore and Id be like: Im gonna get Aspirin someday. My parents divorced when I was 13. DeGeneres opened the last hour of "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" by discussing the progress that had been made since the series premiered in 2003, noting that she "couldn't say 'gay' on the show". Hoe, who is you playin wit? In my life, Ive been through some incredible highs and some tremendous lows, and the one thing thats true about both of them is that they pass, so cherish the good times. Yeah, thats very clever and very fresh, and.. Well, thats wonderful hearing thatfrom you. We all have For some reason we wont throw a rubber band away There are tons of rubber bands like 24 rubber bands are in there, like in case, a bunch of little girls come over for pigtails one day. I mean [crowd laughs] Its about winning. Is there a special chicken that youd like to give a shout out to? Yes, Im enjoying it. I want to make you feel good for an hour, at least an hour really. I cant No. Ellen DeGeneres should have considered laying off the jokes. Speech-to-Text API for pre-recorded audio, powered by the worlds leading speech recognition engine. Dave Chappelle delivers a speech at his prestigious alma mater that reflects on his comedy roots, his rise to fame and why artists should never behave.. She opens the show with an obligatory . Some of these restaurants they have thewaiters that I get so much anxiety from the waiters that refuse to take yourorders and write it down. [crowd laughs] [claps] If I have to do that, thats good. I dont deserve it, give it to thelady there. I was walking, hewas walking, he started running, I had tocatch up. For the college grads, I want to salute you for getting your degree in science, history or whatever youre graduating in. Does it work? We know that now. "The truth is, I always trust my . I kinda had to tone it down a little bit, I had to dress differently. Shake it off.. Do you know what Im saying? Dave Chappelle talks about Kanye West, the 2022 midterm elections and Donald Trump. Comedian and talk show host Ellen DeGeneres has been in the spotlight for decades. Even if we dont understand it, it doessomething for something else. Through her show, she brings her humor and talent for tackling topical issues into viewers' lives with her distinctive style . As reported in the Los Angeles Times, the comedian sold the . She established The Ellen DeGeneres Wildlife Fund to save the mountain gorillas. tWitch: (08:14) "Hi Everyone, I want to let you all know . They are on the beat and Iwas like: Oh my God, thats crazy. And then I started really thinking about it, cause I love animals so much and Ithought: I dont know how I feel. Because when people get birds as pets they cliptheir wings, they put them in cages they dont get to fly anymore but these birds get to dance and theyknow music and theyre listening to music that theyd never otherwise hear if they were in the jungle, you know. I love that phrase. Portia Lee James DeGeneres (born Amanda Lee Rogers; 31 January 1973), known professionally as Portia de Rossi, is an Australian-American former actress.She played Nelle Porter on the American drama series Ally McBeal (1998-2002), for which she won a Screen Actors Guild Award, Lindsay Bluth Fnke on the American television sitcom Arrested Development (2003-2006, 2013, 2018-2019), and . We stand up. Nobodys worried about talking about dandruff anymore, you know. Start your free trial to watch Ellen DeGeneres: Here and Now and other popular TV shows and movies including new releases, classics, Hulu Originals, and more. Cause Id like it to come out right. Its just so Im filled withanxiety when they come up to the table and they just come up and: And thelady will have? I had a successful sitcom. There was this one station manager, and this is a quote: No ones gonna watch it. Thank you so much for being here,Seattle. Yeah. millionaire | 15K views, 250 likes, 55 loves, 35 comments, 8 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from Ellen DeGeneres: I bet each one of these kids is a millionaire by now. I was working out like six days a week and then I had a sports injury. Thank you. Negotiations breaking down Why? I just [crowd claps] Ill buy a new car, I dont care. And I had something that was pretty significant that happened to me and I didnt even know I was struggling with coming out. I dont know why they insist on doing it. You can tell its May because people are wearing floral print face masks. Today is the first day of the rest of your life, or maybe tomorrow or the day after that. Andy Lassner: (00:50) He was 40. [gasps] Happy birthday Everybody was all nervous about dandruff and then Sofia Vergara does this Head & Shoulders commercial Her son has dandruff. Thank you so much. These are good. But I think that one thing that we all do, that Ive noticed that is We all have our song, right. 0:00. Because if it had four doors, it would be a chicken sedan. And for you? Ive seen that in the brochure, and Ill bring a poncho in case theres a bonfire on the beach. [crowd laughs] How did you get in here, anyway?" Yeah . Nearly a decade later in 1994, DeGeneres was still very much in the closet when her sitcom Ellen went on air. Ellen DeGeneres is apologizing to her staff in the wake of allegations that her talk show fosters a toxic environment. We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. Convert your audio or video into 99% accurate text by a professional. Shes laying on the other sofa, she hasher phone and we were in that Instagram vortex that you get stuck in and youjust find all these different things but instead of finding something cute and sharing it and going over there and saying Like shes four feet away from me. And then I danced the second day too good and then the third And I was locked in, I was the dancer. [crowd laughs] [claps], I dont have that many childhood memories. Im And Im kind, Im a good person. That Im not a dancer. Like Oprah, Ellen, which premiered on Sept. 8, 2003, was a solid hit.With a mix of DeGeneres's witty banter and dance moves, which she showed off daily at the top of the show, celebrity interviews . Cut to you, sitting at a bar, drunk, in the same outfit the entire time. And I looked at the bird and I said: Dont leave, youre safe in here. And the bird looked at me and said: I dont belong in here. And flew out. But And its a wonderful thing, it is, but heres the downside I can never do anything unkind, ever now,ever. The place with all the words? Good afternoon, students. Its like your childhood, through your adulthood, you wear those things. Ellen Degeneres: (00:19) Listen to the MP3 Audio here: Ellen DeGeneres' 2009 Commencement Speech at Tulane University TRANSCRIPT: Scott Cowen - 14th President, Tulane University Ellen DeGeneres Show DJ tWitch 'dies by suicide' aged 40 News Ellen DeGeneres speaks out following death of DJ tWitch UK I loved him with all my heart: Ellen DeGeneres remembers Stephen. This is This is a true story. I just started eating a piece of fish once in a while and Ill eat eggs from chickens that I know. Heres a little bit of what I know. But that's exactly where she found herself in 1997 when she broke out of the professional closet she'd inhabited since becoming a standup comic. Ellen Degeneres: (08:17) Youse a fine motherfucker, wont you back that ass up Do you want them? [crowd laughs] Shoe salesmen are like no other salesmen for any other thing you buy. Obviously, a lot of grads, this is a tough time to be starting out. I cant honk ever at anyone. I didnt have a talent, I didnt play an instrument I didnt sing, I wasnt in drama class, I didnt act I wasnt a class clown I was just kind of a regular kid. I did not. Because I feel like animals should be in their natural environment. May is usually the beginning of graduation season. Ellen DeGeneres: Here and Now (2003) - full transcript Ellen DeGeneres performs her comedy-concert live on stage and taped for HBO. Jim Jefferies is back and no topic is off limits. Ellen: Yeah, how's the tour going? Make a n i g g a want to grab that, autograph that One, two a day. USA TODAY. I dont know, I just guessed. Ellen Degeneres: (00:51) If youre in your forties and youre still living in your parents house, maybe then find another dream. And thats when you grow and thats what we all want. My publicist,my agent, my manager anyone making moneyoff of me said: Dont do it. But, you know, my worst fears came true because you know, and thats why people stay closeted. I dont think thats a good thing. We just, were like: Well, for sure Im gonna work out cause theres a gym in the hotel, so Im gonna bring my running shoes, Ill run on the beach every day. Back that ass up Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. Please, change. And the light doesnt change so theyjust creep up alongside of you. If you go home, we all have the same stuff in our junk drawer. Boss died by suicide at a hotel Tuesday, according to a report from the Los Angeles medical . Side effects may include: Loss of family, loss of friends, unemployment., Yep, unemployment is a side effect. tWitch: (06:46) The thing is, I didnt pack correctly. But if thats your song when youre 30, its still your song when youre 85. Its when I learned that the truth will always win. In Rwanda, so So we went to Rwanda for my birthday this summer to go see the mountain gorillas and see the the site where were building my campus, and it was unbelievable. Finesse and nanno with some counterfeits Thats But, like toothpaste I will use everysingle bit of toothpaste in that tube. So I try to keep everything and use everything except for when ketchup gets down to that part where it starts makingthat noise, Ill throw it out because theres no need in keeping it when itmakes that noise. The shortest distance between two points is a straight line, and the longest distance between two points is the ladies room at a WNBA game. Mazelel tov, graduates. She may not be gay anymore, I dont know. People who live in glass houses should never throw stones, but they should always wear pants. This is my second month of quarantine shows. I went on safari and I looked like I should have been on safari. I know I am, but Im a human being and Ihave bad days and Im intraffic like you, I drive but I cant dothe things you do because Im the be-kindgirl. I thought so, I thought [crowd laughs] Theres nothing more embarrassing than when you pass up a slow driver to showthem the proper way of driving. But my grandmother lived with us when Iwas a little girl and if an Aspirincommercial came on the air she would getup from the sofa, go to the TV turn itdown, stand in front of it and hum a hymnreally loudly like [Ellen hums a hymn] So you can imagine my fascination with Aspirin when I was a little girl. Thank you very much! Is she gonna be OK? It is." 06 of 10. Ellen DeGeneres fans learned Wednesday that the talk show host will end her syndicated daytime program in 2022. And So, I had to do that bathmat scoot all theway across the bathroom to get to the towel. Was there a problem with the meal, everything OK? Fine dining. -Hows the dining? Theres no reason to change them really when they dont get dirty. Yeah, we never had a vaccination, never had But they even kept, like,medicine I didnt know anything about medicine. And then Ill do yoga on the pier. [background song in the video] And then I sent her this. Then I do. [ Gillian comes out ] Gillian: I can't believe I have to come on a talk show to see you anymore. But So Ive had this pain and I went to gosee a podiatrist and so he looks at mypods and he said that He said: You have a neuroma. And I said: You have a neuroma. I said that to him. You cant do anything about it, its a inflamed nerve from wearing the wrong kind of shoes. He said: Do you wear like soft-soled shoes, like tennis shoes? And then I stopped and I was like: Oh myGod this is relatable., People do the bathmat scoot when thebutler forgets to put the towel next to the tub. Libary. Nobody should be on anybody elses path. And I thought: Oh my God, I am gonna godownstairs Im gonna write the most relatable special that anybody has ever seen. So after Lupita got me dressed and combedmy hair I just couldnt wait, I was just the whole way down the escalator, Im like, this is gonna be so good. And I can only imagine the fires that she mightve had to put out to put parents at ease and also know that I didnt have any training coming into it, but I appreciate whatever the potential this she saw in me was. Andy Lassner: (06:21) Theyre looking at me, and Im looking atthem and I get back in the car and I pull around. Im slicing it. Ellen Degeneres: (05:38) I will, yeah. There are so many different types of jobs. Andy Lassner: (06:14) There are a lot of children that it would impact a lot of kids would be helped by that, you know, and [crowd cheers and clap] Its not just actorsand actresses. Have you dined with us before? Maybe its time you try gay. - Oh, and a Diet Coke." Ellen DeGeneres and it wasntmeant to be funny. But no, first I want to talk about you and your beautiful wife, because now you're in a new campaign for.
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